"It's an ongoing discussion about desire": Adults' strategies for managing sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies in romantic relationships.

Publisher: Blackwell Country of Publication: United States NLM ID: 7904614 Publication Model: Print-Electronic Cited Medium: Internet ISSN: 1752-0606 (Electronic) Linking ISSN: 0194472X NLM ISO Abbreviation: J Marital Fam Ther Subsets: MEDLINE

Publication: <2007->: Malden, Mass. : Blackwell
Original Publication: Washington, D.C., American Assn. for Marriage and Family Therapy

Interpersonal Relations* ; Sexual Partners*/psychology ; Sexual Behavior*/psychology; Humans ; Female ; Adult ; Male ; Young Adult ; Middle Aged ; Libido

Desire discrepancies are a common source of relationship conflict and one reason adults may seek couples counseling. Within romantic relationships, adults individually experience sexual and affectionate desire, but also experience desire relative to their partner. If desire discrepancies exist, partners may attempt to resolve these discrepancies. Thus, we examined adults' strategies for managing sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies. Our sample consisted of 300 adults (45% women; M age  = 29.5; 86.3% LGBTQ+) who were in a romantic relationship and reported a desire discrepancy. Thematic analysis revealed five strategies for managing desire discrepancies: alternative behaviors, communication, doing nothing, engaging in behaviors anyway, and giving control to a specific partner. Adults reported similar strategies for resolving sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies. Perceived effectiveness and strategies varied by whether adults thought that their discrepancies were problematic. Our findings hold implications for clinicians approaching problematic desire discrepancies, and suggest strategies that may promote effective resolutions.
(© 2024 The Authors. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy published by Wiley Periodicals LLC on behalf of American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.)

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Keywords: affection; desire discrepancy; romantic relationships; sexual behavior

Date Created: 20240412 Date Completed: 20240704 Latest Revision: 20240704

20240704

10.1111/jmft.12709

38605513